
When Praise Backfires: The Problem With Overpraising Kids
Praising children builds confidence, right? Yes—until it doesn’t. Learn how overpraise can backfire, and what to say instead to help your child grow resilient and self-assured.
Home > Parenting Challenges > Parenting Mistakes > Failing to Model Good Behavior
“Do your homework.” “Read more.” “Don’t use your phone all the time.” Parents say these things with love and good intention. But what happens when the child sees the parent scrolling endlessly, never picking up a book, or dodging difficult tasks themselves? A subtle but powerful message is sent: *“The rules are for you, not for me.”* Children are hardwired to copy what they see—not what they hear. When we don’t model the behaviors we expect, we undermine our own authority, credibility, and connection. This article dives deep into why modeling matters more than instruction—and how to align your values with your everyday actions.
Parenting by example means showing your child the values, behaviors, and emotional patterns you want them to adopt—through how you live, not just what you say. It’s reading if you want them to love books. Apologizing when you mess up if you want them to own their mistakes. Staying off your phone at dinner if you want them to be present. It doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being *authentic*. When your words match your actions, trust grows. When they don’t, kids either rebel, copy your behavior anyway, or stop listening altogether.
Praising children builds confidence, right? Yes—until it doesn’t. Learn how overpraise can backfire, and what to say instead to help your child grow resilient and self-assured.
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Children don’t become who we tell them to be. They become who they see us being. Every time you apologize instead of blame, read instead of scroll, listen instead of shout—you’re wiring something powerful in them. You’re shaping the voice they’ll one day hear in their head when no one’s watching. That’s what modeling is. It’s not about being flawless—it’s about being *real and striving*. When you walk the talk, your child doesn’t just follow the path. They trust it. Because they trust you.
Our parenting quiz isn’t just about style—it’s about self-awareness. Do your habits match your values? Are you modeling the kind of discipline, focus, and compassion you want in your child? The quiz reveals not just how you parent, but how your child might perceive you—and how to realign without judgment. Parenting with integrity starts with knowing yourself. This quiz is a step toward that clarity.
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need an *honest one*. A parent who reads if they want readers. Who apologizes if they want empathy. Who tries even when it’s hard—if they want resilience. You are their template, not just their teacher. When your actions and your advice hold hands, your child learns what love, discipline, and authenticity truly look like. That’s not just parenting. That’s leadership. That’s legacy.